Alyssa Luboff, PhD

Fallen, but not shattered… My heart can break, And my spirit can still be whole. Exhausted, but not destroyed… My energy can run out, And my spirit can still be strong. Worried, but not hopeless… My mind can see no exit, And my spirit can still find the way. So, I tell you –

People often reach out to me and say, “Alyssa, my life is insane. You just can’t imagine.” And I get it. I actually can imagine. I’ve been there. My life has been – and still is, because we’re always learning and growing – everything but simple or easy. And then there are the people I don’t hear from at all. Sometimes they feel like tearing everything apart and giving up instead of reaching out. Sometimes they feel too confused to know where to start to explain.

Many of us were taught as children to hold in our anger and to hide it. We didn’t feel safe to embrace our emotions or to express our truths. Many of us believed – and still do – that our anger is bad and hurts people. So, we hold it in, often to protect those we love. This strategy becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. We hold in our anger as long as we can—like a balloon that we’re filling with more and more hot air—until it just can’t possibly hold any more.