Alyssa Luboff, PhD

We all go through phases in our lives where we start to feel like everything has no meaning, no flavor anymore. What used to bring us joy no longer moves us. We feel like we’re just going through the motions. And it’s hard to remember our purpose. Perhaps you’re feeling stuck in that burnout right now. Or you can tuck this advice away for next time you catch yourself drifting toward that desolate place. In this post, I am going to explain to you the energetic picture behind b

Fallen, but not shattered… My heart can break, And my spirit can still be whole. Exhausted, but not destroyed… My energy can run out, And my spirit can still be strong. Worried, but not hopeless… My mind can see no exit, And my spirit can still find the way. So, I tell you –

I often hear people diminish their own suffering with phrases like: It’s just first-world problems. I have it so much easier than other people. It’s no big deal. I really have no right to complain. Sometimes we say these things because we’re trying to remind ourselves to be grateful for what we do have. Sometimes it’s because we’re ashamed of our own needs and of our own vulnerability. Sometimes it’s because we’re afraid to let ourselves feel what’s really going on.

People often reach out to me and say, “Alyssa, my life is insane. You just can’t imagine.” And I get it. I actually can imagine. I’ve been there. My life has been – and still is, because we’re always learning and growing – everything but simple or easy. And then there are the people I don’t hear from at all. Sometimes they feel like tearing everything apart and giving up instead of reaching out. Sometimes they feel too confused to know where to start to explain.

The death of a loved one. The rupture of a relationship. The loss of a job. The failure of a project. The dismantling of a dream. The end of an era. There are many reasons that the heart breaks, that we feel an emptiness in the center of our chests as the world around us seems to cave in. Sometimes, it hits abruptly, out of nowhere, and other times, it crashes down on us only after a long period of foreboding. And yet the anatomy of a broken heart, regardless of the timing or

My Grandpa Abe almost never set foot in a synagogue, but the one time of the year when he took pride in climbing the steps of the bimah was on Yom Kippur Eve. It was then that he played the mournful melody of the Kol Nidre on his bass for our whole congregation to hear. It was a piece of Judaism that even my grandfather, who spent all of his adult life estranged from the faith, found relatable.

I once read the Tao Te Ching from cover to cover in a single afternoon. Sucked in and mesmerized, I had no words; simply, the truths of the Chinese classic resonated with my soul. This is how it is to flow with the universe. I emerged from my office as if to another world, my head swirling with the poetry of being. Everything felt alive, as if it were speaking to me, as if we were not separate, but deeply interconnected.

Do you crave someone who has all of the answers? A teacher who will step in and tell you what to do? Or, at the very least, someone to offer guidance, to tell you when you have strayed from your path, and when you are back on? – I have often wished I had such a person. Indeed, sometimes in life we find them, at least for a time. It is wonderful to study under someone who has mastered a skill we are just learning, someone who can offer us guidance, who can support us on our pa

This picture is from 2004, the year our middle child was born. I am looking forward, and I am looking back. That is the essence of so much of my work: looking forward and looking back. What essential pieces of our humanity have we lost moving forward, and how do we recover them? How do we reconstruct them in new ways, in this society, in this lifetime?

Last month, I brought home from my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah reception three plants wrapped in foil. Since our apartment is small, I left them on the balcony. I thought it would be a good way to let Nature take care of the plants and not to have to worry much about them. After a few days, I noticed their leaves were drying out in the summer sun. No amount of water seemed to help. After a few more days, I realized the foil was directing the sun’s rays onto the plants and burning

One day in Tai Chi class, my instructor said something that surprised me. When you’re experiencing a lot of Yang energy and everything is going strong, he said, expect Yin to come along. In other words, when you’ve been flying high for some time, expect to come down. When life is easy, expect it to grow hard. Now, if you’ve ever heard of Yin and Yang, you’re probably wondering why this surprised me. I’m a healer and philosopher; don’t I know this? Life goes up and down. The p

Most people know that meditation calms the mind and relaxes the body; they are also aware of the tremendous health benefits of this practice. The problem is that many people find it hard to sit still long enough to meditate. One of the most commonly taught meditation techniques is to focus on the breath. If the mind wanders, we are instructed simply to notice this and to return the attention gently back to the breath. For people with a restless or racing mind, this technique