How to Achieve the Benefits of Meditation When You Can’t Focus, Relax, or Let Go
Updated: Oct 7
Most people know that meditation calms the mind and relaxes the body; they are also aware of the tremendous health benefits of this practice. The problem is that many people find it hard to sit still long enough to meditate.
One of the most commonly taught meditation techniques is to focus on the breath. If the mind wanders, we are instructed simply to notice this and to return the attention gently back to the breath.
For people with a restless or racing mind, this technique can be endlessly frustrating.
They often give up very quickly on meditation or contemplative practice in general.
In my practice, I have seen that the resources of energy healing can produce much better results for some people. They may be able to experience a deeply relaxed, open state with much less frustration.
What makes the difference?
You’re not alone — Imagine trying to make a pizza if you’d never in your life eaten one. You probably wouldn’t even come up with the idea to make a pizza in the first place. You’d certainly need a really good recipe, and some pictures would help, too. Now imagine that a friend gives you a slice to taste and then walks you through all the steps of making a pizza. That’s much easier, right? Energy healing uses guided meditation, which is like having a really good recipe, to take you through the process step by step. You may decide to cook and experiment on your own later—but the guidance is an excellent help for beginners and continuing learners alike. Guided recordings can offer some of this support. Working directly with a practitioner can add another layer: another person is there to help hold the pace, imagery, and sense of safety while you learn what the state feels like in your own body.
You don’t have to focus — Healing takes us into what I’ve called a “Zen state.” It is beyond description, but it is the feeling of being completely aligned and at peace. All of our fears and attachments drop away, and we feel deep connection with all being. The journey to this state brings us both great healing and great insight.
In this state, we move beyond either/or categories to experience their interplay as well as the truth that transcends them. It is a state of near paradox and unparalleled beauty. We realize that our selves are neither separate nor the same as others.
And just as we are not fully separate and not fully the same, our awareness in this state is both sharply focused and completely open.
Many forms of meditation, like the breath meditation I mentioned above, work toward this state by focusing the attention. However, since this state is both fully open and sharply focused, it can also be reached by generously allowing any and all thoughts to come.
We might say that the Yang route takes the path of razor-sharp focus, while the Yin route takes the path of open, receptive awareness. The end state, what we’ve called a “Zen state,” lies beyond the interplay of the two.
For those of us who find focusing techniques tedious and frustrating, this is welcome news. You don’t have to try hard. Just relax and let yourself open. There are no rigid expectations in energy meditation.
Your senses are here to help you — Often, when we think of meditation, we imagine being in our heads. Sometimes, this may feel like a good thing. Other times, it may feel incredibly oppressive.
Energy healing works from the deep interplay of mind, body, and spirit. It does not work exclusively with the channels of the mind, and its goal is not specifically to quiet the mind, though it does typically have that effect.
Energy healing works with the sensations of the body, and with the light of the spirit, as much as it does with the mind. Many people who experience frustration with mind-based techniques find that they can slip into a relaxed state more easily by working through the body and spirit pathways of energy meditation—beginning, for instance, by noticing the sensations of their feet on the ground and their connection with the earth beneath them—instead of trying to focus the mind.
You have tools — Anyone who has been exposed to Buddhist meditation knows how important it is to let go of attachments. They are what tether us to old pictures of the world and of ourselves, keeping us from experiencing the real joy and beauty that are right here.
But what if you can’t let go? What if you try very, very hard, and you only find yourself more fixed on what was bothering you? What if you know that a thought, or a feeling, or an experience is holding you back, but you still can’t get around it?
Energy healing offers tools for working with these challenges through imagery, sensation, intention, and light. These practices can help us explore limiting beliefs, tend places that feel wounded or stuck, and approach experiences that may not shift through concentration alone.
You’re not trying to be enlightened — Energy work is a healing practice; it is about growth and transformation. It is not about becoming a perfect being. There is no rigid expectation of how you have to be. There is no fixed measurement of where you need to get.
There is simply your journey, and how you get to love and grow and experience more joy along the way. That’s it.
We’re not trying to dissolve or banish the ego. We’re not trying to reach some point at the top of a mountain. We’re simply loving the being who is here, and helping them to realize the light that already shines within them.
Want more help getting started? I designed this beginning meditation especially for those who don’t like sitting still.
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